


whirring

by literatiruinedme



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Deaf Character, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nonverbal Communication, hearing loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 17:31:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15148250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literatiruinedme/pseuds/literatiruinedme
Summary: After an explosion, the first step is to regroup.And then to rebuild.





	whirring

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ivaylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivaylo/gifts).



_ Look at me _ . Jyn read the words Cassian scribbled on the piece of paper on the tray of her bed in the medbay. Next to the paper was a pair of hearing aids.  _ Hers _ . Cassian reached up to touch her chin but she slapped his hand away.

“Don't touch me,” she growled, looking down at the floor. She saw him pull the paper back out of the corner of her eye.

He slid it back onto the tray.  _ Please, Jyn. _

She sighed, looking up at him. “What?”

Cassian licked his lips, raising his hands as he thought.  **Put them on** , he signed in some mostly extinct language that they'd learned together, as a way to communicate when they were in meetings or just goofing off.

Jyn sighed, reaching out to take the stupid hearing aids from the tray in front of her. She slipped them onto her ears, closing her eyes and swallowing down the bile rising in her throat as they crackled to life.

“Better?” Cassian asked hesitantly, his voice unclear and crackling.

Jyn looked up at him, ignoring how her eyes burned with tears. “No,” she admitted, shaking her head.

Cassian stood, moving to sit down next to her on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. She took a shuttered breath, finally breaking down in his embrace. “It's okay,” he said, slowly rubbing his hand up and down her back.

“It's not!” She snapped, reaching up to fist her hands into his shirt. “I can't-” Her voice cracked before she could continue. She pressed her face against his chest, allowing herself to cry into the warmth of his safe embrace.

“We'll figure it out,” Cassian said, his voice muffled and a little too distant. “We always do.”

“I can't.” She shook her head, pressing herself closer to him.

“Hey,” he said softly, his tone making her relax. He pulled back slowly, reaching up to brush his thumb over her cheeks, wiping away her tears. He gave her a small smile when she took a steady breath, leaning down to kiss her forehead. He tipped her chin up, resting his forehead against hers. “You will be fine,” he promised her, reaching up to cup her cheek. “You trust me?”

Jyn sighed, nodding her head. She stayed quiet for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. “I'm with you,” she whispered, reaching down to hold his hand.

He smiled, leaning in to kiss her lips. “All the way.”

* * *

Cassian frowned when he entered their room. Jyn was half asleep, leaning back against the headboard, all of the lights on and her blaster sticking out from the edge of the blankets. She had the blankets pulled up to her nose. By the way her shoulders shook, he assumed it was doing nothing to cut Hoth’s freezing temperatures.

“Jyn?” He said hesitantly, reaching out to tug the blanket down, only it didn't budge. Jyn whined, still not fully registering that he was there. He shook her shoulder, eyes going wide when she raised her blaster. He jumped back, hands raised high. “Jyn, it's me!”

She shook her head, snapping out of whatever trance she was in. She let the blaster and her blanket fall. “Cassian, I'm sorry!” She attempted to move towards him, but Cassian quickly stepped forward, putting his hands on her shoulders, holding her in place. Her voice was quieter when she spoke again. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-”

Cassian leaned forward to kiss her forehead, wrapping his arms around her. “I know you didn't,” he said, his voice soft and understanding. “You’re okay,” he promised. “Just relax.”

She nodded, burying her face in his chest as he slowly rocked them back and forth. “I'm sorry,” she whispered again.

“Don't be.” Cassian slowly pulled away, reaching up to touch her hearing aids. “You should go to sleep when you want to,” he sighed, meeting her gaze with what he knew to be a worried expression. “My meetings run late all the time and with the promotion-” He shook his head, looking down at his lap. “Please don't deprived yourself of sleep for  _ me _ .”

Jyn reached up to cup his face, drawing his attention back to her. “We'll see,” she said, reaching up to brush a lock of hair from his eyes.

“Jyn-”

“I do what I want,  _ Major _ ,” she said, pulling a small smile from his lips. She leaned in to kiss him before reaching over to turn off the lights. She curled up under the covers, reaching out for his hand. “Come,” she ordered, smiling when he nodded before obeying.

He slid under the covers and inched his way over to her. He carefully reached up to take her hearing aids out. 

She pulled away from him, her mood suddenly broken. 

“Jyn.” 

She froze at Cassian's voice, looking up at him. 

He frowned, reaching up to run his fingers through her hair. “Tell me.”

Jyn sighed, closing her eyes. “It's still awful,” she said. “I can still remember before, and I-” Her voice cracked. She let out a shaky breath, blinking away tears. “It's hard,” she whispered. “It's too quiet when I don't have them in. I took the sound of leaves in the wind or- or your singing in the shower for granted and now I can barely hear them even with these stupid things.”

Cassian gave her a soft smile, cupping her jaw while leaning in to kiss her lips. “I have an idea,” he said, tracing his nose along hers. He reached up to touch one of her hearing aids. “May I?” He asked.

Jyn nodded, closing her eyes as he pulled one hearing aid out and then the other. He tugged his shirt over his head before laying down on his back, one hand extended out to her. She took his hand and allowed him to pull her closer. She rested her head on his chest, letting her eyes slip shut. As he listened to her breathing, he began to sing a quiet melody he vaguely remembered from Fest. He heard her gasp after a few moments, smiling when she pulled away to look at him.  **Bad?** he signed, brow raised, a small knowing smile on his lips.

Jyn shook her head, leaning in to kiss his lips. “Thank you,” she whispered against his mouth.

Cassian leaned up to kiss her more firmly, smiling softly when Jyn pulled away first. She rested her head on his chest, smiling when he pulled her closer. “I love you,” he said, knowing she couldn't hear him, but she would feel the vibrations as he spoke and understand all the same. 

* * *

But of course, the first night she actually  _ tried _ to sleep before he got back (a few weeks later because she's so stubborn it could kill him), he'd stumbled in, dead on his feet. Assuming the noise would wake her (like it used to), he didn't even think of waking her before finally crawling into bed. He frowned in confusion when Jyn tensed as he slipped into bed behind her. He reached up to touch her ear, his eyes going wide when he didn't feel the familiar duraplast of her hearing aids sticking out.  _ Kriffing idiot- of course she wouldn't wear them up bed, _ he mentally scolded himself, ready to turn her onto her back so he could apologise- but he paused when she laughed softly.

“It's okay,” she yawned, turning to look back at him, her shoulder resting against his solar plexus. Her eyes were half closed and she looked so tired. “Even I forget still.”

Cassian frowned, wetting his lips. He swallowed, reaching up to touch her cheek as he thought.  **_I should remember_ ** , he signed, frowning when she looked almost...mad at him.

“Under no circumstances is this your fault,” she said before he could continue. She reached out to brush a few wily strands of hair out of his eyes. “And you can't keep beating yourself up for not remembering it like it  _ is _ . This is still new to both of us.”

Before he could even think of a response, Jyn turned to face him. She reached up, taking his hand in one of hers as she cupped his face with her free hand. His breath caught in his throat when she pulled his hand up to her lips, kissing each of his knuckles. 

“Stop trying to be perfect,” she said, looking up at him through her lashes. The soft smile on her lips made his heart clench in his chest.

Cassian sighed, leaning forward to press his lips to her forehead. He wanted to tell her he wasn't perfect (nor was he trying to be anything  _ close _ to perfect), he was just trying to make the transition easier on her. He wanted to tell her to sleep and not to worry about him. He wanted a lot of things, but she had an iron grip on one hand and the other was wedged between them, essentially muting him. He rested his forehead against hers, letting his eyes slip shut. He squeezed her hand, drawing a quiet laugh from her.

“You really are amazing,” she said, leaning up to press her lips to his in a kiss. “I'm glad I have you.” She let go of his hand, gently pushing him onto his back before snuggling closer, her arms wrapped around his waist, her cheek pressed over his heart. He wrapped himself around her in return, sighing happily when she kissed his collarbone. “I love you,” she whispered.

Cassian smiled, awkwardly reaching out to take her hand in his. He squeezed her hand three times, sighing happily when she repeated the motion; their own little way of wordlessly saying  _ I love you _ . He kissed her forehead, reaching up to slowly rake his fingers through her hair. He listened as her breathing evened out, already slipping into sleep. “I love you, too,” he said into their quiet room. 

Jyn didn't stir, though she smiled softly for just a moment at the vibrations of his chest before her face relaxed again. 

Cassian pulled the blankets higher around them before snaking his arms around her once more. He held her tighter, just like she liked, smiling when she curled even closer. He reached up to brush his thumb along her brow. He yawned before finally letting himself slip into a deep sleep, comforted by the weight of Jyn's body over his.

She was right; they would be okay and they would find their new normal soon, they just needed to not be so hard on themselves for things out of their control.

But then again, that was usually the case with them.

* * *

Somethings couldn't be changed– however, technology was not one of those things.

**I'm powering them on,** Cassian signed.

Jyn smiled excitedly, fighting the urge to nod. She listened carefully as he rested his hands back in his lap. There was a quieter version of familiar crackling before she heard faint sound of the normal commotion of the base from outside their bedroom. “What-”

“How does it sound?” Cassian asked, his voice suddenly so clear.

Jyn snapped back to look at Cassian, eyes wide. He sounded...force, she could kiss him. “This is so…” Jyn trailed off, at a loss for words. It was like before- better than before -the lilt of his voice, his nerves.

He frowned, looking down at his hands. “That bad?” He sighed, his shoulders dropping. “Fine, I'll have another look tomorrow or later tonight if-”

“Cassian,” Jyn interrupted, her eyes burning. She reached out to take his hand in hers, drawing his gaze back up to hers. “They’re perfect.”

His brows furrowed. “Perfect?”

“I don't think I heard this well  _ before _ the explosion,” she said, bouncing up and down on the tips of her toes. She suddenly pushed herself up, tightly wrapping her arms around his neck. “You're amazing,” she said, smiling despite the first tears falling from her eyes. She pulled back slowly after a few moments, her hand finding his in what little space was between them.

Cassian looked down at their feet, seemingly trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. “Bodhi and Kay had the big parts behind it,” he said, shrugging a shoulder before looking up at her once more. “I was just able to fine-tune and handle final touches.”

Jyn smiled, squeezing his hand three times. “All three of you did wonderful.”

Cassian grinned. “I'm glad we could help.”

Jyn let go of his hands, slowly trailing her hands along his hips and up his sides. She smiled when she heard his breath catch, something she hadn't been able to hear in so long. “I feel like I owe you a thank you.”

“That's not necessary,” he laughed.

Her hands slowly slid down his back before she slipped her hands into his back pockets. “I think it is,” she countered, pulling him closer. She smiled, leaning up to kiss him softly. “If you're interested.”

Cassian smiled, reaching up to cup her cheeks. “Maybe it doesn't have to be all about me,” he began, blushing harder. “But I'm interested.”

Jyn smiled when Cassian wrapped his arms around her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he murmured, leaning down to bury his face into the crook of her neck. 


End file.
